GOT S707: ‘The Dragon and the Wolf’ Recap

We open on Grey Worm and the rest of the Unsullied as the Targaryen-Jaws theme kicks in. The music and scene at hand hint at impending fire! And blood! And gruesome green explosions! And a cataclysmic battle for King’s Landing! None of which happens. They should have briefed Ramin Djawadi on some nice, benign lobby […]

GOTS7: ‘Beyond the Wall’ Recap

Just to be clear, I’m writing this recap while jet-lagged, emotionally crippled by irrational grief for a CGI beastie, and slightly drunk from the cans of gin and tonic I found at Tesco (don’t judge, I was disoriented and desperate). Are you ready? Good. Me either. We open on Dragonstone…because Dragonstone. Specifically, Aegon’s map table […]

GOTS07: ‘Eastwatch’ Recap

We open on Bronn and Jaime, surfacing on the opposite side of the lake after apparently swimming the length of it underwater. So not only are we tearing through the fabric of space-time so characters can traverse immense distances within a day, we’re also ignoring the biological limitations of the average human body. Got it. […]

GOTS07: ‘The Spoils of War’ Recap

We open on the Lannister forces, lugging their Highgarden loot towards King’s Landing. Jaime’s still burning from Olenna’s epic last words, but at least he has carts full of gold to show for it. Bronn’s dirty about not being paid what he was promised because he doesn’t have a castle yet. Jaime tells him to […]

Game of Thrones S703: ‘The Queen’s Justice’ Recap

We open on Jon Snow and Ser Davos arriving at Dragonstone. Clearly they bypassed the King’s Road and jumped on Westeros’ new Shinkansen. One thing you’ve gotta say for Queen Cersei; she doesn’t skimp on transport infrastructure. Jon and Tyrion greet each other with man-affection. Their bond as mutual outcasts was believable and endearing back […]

Game of Thrones S702: ‘Stormborn’ Recap

It’s a dark and stormy night on Dragonstone – and someone get Dany a juicy horse heart, because this girl is HANGRY. Or hormonal. Or possessed by the vengeful spirit of Viserys. Either way, Varys cops it – Dany’s decided to grill the Spider about his fickle loyalties. Surely they would’ve had this conversation earlier, […]

Game of Thrones S701: ‘Dragonstone’ Recap

We open season 7 at the Twins, where Walder Frey (wink wink) has gathered every Frey worth mentioning for a family feast. Yes, they’re all wearing their hideous hats. After toasting his family with a fine Arbor Gold sporting subtle notes of impending death, Walder gradually reveals himself to be Arya Stark, our favourite vengeful […]

Game of Thrones S610: ‘The Winds of Winter’ Recap

It’s D-day in King’s Landing, and the big players are getting ready for the trial of the century. The opening scenes are almost entirely silent, except for the ominous clanging of the Sept’s bell…which is clearly tolling for a truckload of people given it’s the finale and the death count in King’s Landing has been […]